I've taken a swan dive into the pool of self pity.
And thus far, it's an interesting change.
I've been known to indulge into secret jaunts there. To splash in the crisp cool waters, and revel in my own disasters for awhile. I try to stay away from this sweet treat too much though. To steer away from its alluring mirror like surface, the cleansing feeling that comes from just having a good cry.
It's easy to get lost in the woods on the way back from Self Pity Pond. To just give up, turn back, and set up residence where the world revolves around the one and only M-E. Why leave when life can be on you and your struggles 24-7?
But I can't. And I won't. Because as great as the moments away from real life felt for just a little bit, that isn't real life.
My teeth will heal, I'll do well at selection. People actually care about me, and if I end up forever alone, it'll be by my choice and no one else. Lots of people see more value in me then just my technique with a camera, and actually do like to talk to me about things, not just when I'll have some more pictures up. I won't become addicted to my pain medications, and my severely swollen chipmunk cheek will subside. Princess won't die, I'll look lovely in my swimsuit when we go and visit Grandma, and all is well that ends well.
I'm moving beyond my quick dip in the pity pool and getting back into the swing of things....
that is, once my cheek starts to look and feel normal again.
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