If we ever meet again

I don't really have a good grip on my words right now.  My verb usage leaves much to be desired, and I really couldn't give you the difference between a noun and a pronoun. I mean, that's a bit of exaggeration, but you get what I'm throwing down. Picking up the mess of vowels I'm littering as I walk down the path of making an interesting blog post

My words are a mess, and so is my brain. It's  a never ending tangle; how mom's container of yarn looks after I've been pawing through it. Color mixed with color, skinnier pieces intertwined with larger more pertinent thoughts. A mess of rainbow veins. 

I want to write an in depth blog post, debating the difference between want and need, the difference between an end, and a continuation. To write about the absolute mess the world has come to, when trends on Twitter revolve around May the Fourth. To the lack of respect people have for themselves, and the over consumption of alcohol for ridiculous purposes. To compare and contrast Poe with modern day literature. To analyze quotes pulled from my mass of Chinese literature papers. I want to discuss the merits of running, and how to properly plant dahlias. I want to discuss why people refuse to be happy, and why self pity is the first step in a total downhill spiral. I want to write out pages of lyrics to a song I can't write, and to write the letters I've always meant to send. I want to post about why I can't seem to find a boy worth my time, who makes my heart race, who gives me the actual desire to spend time with him. I want to write about how I actually don't want to find a guy some days, because I have so many things I'd rather do with my time. I want to find a guy who can challenge me to be who I can be. I want to write about friendships, and how they take work.... a lot of work. I want to write about how I have some of the greatest friends. I want to write an appreciation blog post for everyone who has ever made a difference in my life. I want to write an appreciation blog post just for my mother. I want to write about my grandma. I want to write about happy things. I want to write about sad things. I want to have a post of pictures of just flowers. A post of pictures of just close ups of eyes. I want to take pictures of deer, and moose. I want to fill up a whole post full of random quotes. I want to write a blog post about how a song makes so much sense, it's like Lil Wayne read my mind. 

I just want to write forever. 

I want to make a difference, but I can't seem to find a place where any of this could matter to anyone but me. 

I want to stop wanting so many ridiculous self centered things. 

I want my wants to be wanted by someone else.