Can I take you home?

I've been neglecting writing. And I can feel the effect it's having. I'm just a bit more tense, a bit more on the edge. The chance has gone up I'll start crying over nothing. A bit lazier, and a bit more stressed over everything.

I'm definitely not one of those people that doesn't cry, or show my emotions. Sometimes it gets me in trouble. Because I can't poker face it. But at the same time, I know it means I care.

I know I'd rather care too much then not enough, and I'm ok with that.

However, I need to keep constructively using my excess emotions. AKA writing, blogging, taking pictures. One downfall to being an overachiever is less time in the day to keep myself sane.

But starting today, I'm starting again. It's going to be a long semester, with lots of changes.

Change is hard, but it'll be good for me. To step out of my comfort zone and to really experience life.

Because I know all too well how fast it can all change.

You hit me like the sky fell on me

First day-- done.

It's crazy how much stress the first day can put upon a person's chest. For some reason, reading all of those damn syllabuses can give some one a mini heart attack.

 At the same time though, I'm so looking forward to this semester already. I have reading, that I'm going to enjoy AND understand. I'm going to have assignments to challenge me, but to be within my grasp to succeed at if I work hard. I have NO night classes, and I get to get up and do my best work in the morning like I usually do. Two classes deep and I'm already feeling better about this semester then I felt during the entire previous one.

I can't deny it though...I'm going to have to work, and work hard this semester. A TON of reading, especially with my literature class, but dear lord, I can't even begin to express how excited I am for that.

I work best on a schedule in life in general, so that doesn't change at all when it comes to class. I'm starting to get back into one and if it means my nights during the week are taken up with homework and staying on track, I'm all for it.

In the end, no night classes in general is setting this up to be a wonderful semester.

Lean on me

I love new semesters.

I like new starts, and fresh books. Clean notebooks, and a clean four months in my planner.

I mean, there is a bit of stress before a new school year, that is for sure. Un-known classes, with mysterious professors. A new daily schedule, with new classmates, workmates, and hallmates. I always get nervous before the new year starts. To me, it's like the first jump off of Black Rocks every summer.

I'm standing on the edge of the rock face, with just my toes peeking over. I look down, and can see all the way through the clear blue water. I start to stutter step backwards, to where my warm clothes and towel are waiting. I can't though, because it's inevitable. That I'm going to run off, and plunge into the cool depths. Not just because it's hot out, or that I don't want to lose face. I'm going to jump off those rocks because change and taking chances are the story line of life.

It's the same with a new semester. It's a chance, and I've got to take a chance. So maybe I'll end up hating World Literature in China-- who knows? But I've got to try it to figure it out.

At the end of the summer, I've usually gone of Black Rocks more times then I can count. It's just that first jump that always gets me. Same with life. It's always the first day, for the first time I talk to a guy, the first time I try to work out after awhile.

But that's life.