The start of a new school year always makes me wax poetic. Regardless of the fact that I have no school supplies to purchase or syllabi to read, something about the fresh page start of another school year makes me nostalgic. It makes me yearn for the simpler times when a new school year meant seeing old friends again and learning new things, not another tally in the countdown until death.
Not to be morbid or anything.
It's just the older I get, the more I realize how precious life is.
The more I realize how precious it is to use life wisely, the quicker I am to become paralyzed by the fear that I'm not LIVING enough, that I am not USING my potential.
Which leads to me wasting life watching dorky sitcoms and harboring resentment of my first-world problems,
which eventually leads me to reading another upsetting story about a person's life who is cut short/ Kardashian drama / whatever,
which then makes me feel like I'm wasting the quality time in my life to do something meaningful.
I know I'm not the only one, but sometimes it feels like it. In a world where life is glossed to the highest sheen before been placed benevolently on social media, it feels like I am alone in my dirty, dusty window display. I yearn to have the carefully curated Instagram accounts that feature muted photos that are perfectly posed yet I am the person who posts the blurry photos that no one cares about that are over-saturated and useless. I search endlessly for gripping phrases to resonate across the pixels that tether me to my "friends" only to be disappointed when it fails to go viral.
I know I am not the only one who lives in a world that is not perfectly saturated in rainbow hues but delicately muddied from movement, but it sometimes appears that way. I feel like I'm trapped knee-deep in quicksand, hoping to hold onto my front of "ease" and "happiness" while all the while working my ass off to hold it all together, to not get lost in the riptide of our generation.
So this is my proclamation into the internet -- that you are not alone, whoever you are. Your existence is not only vital to our electronic eco-system, but it is just as exquisitely imperfect as mine. I beg you, please don't forget that.
While you hop from perfectly manicured social media account to perfectly manicured social media account, remember that underneath those shiny veneers, there are people just as cracked and human as you. Their blood flows just as sluggishly, through veins laden with their hopes and dreams. They just happen to wear their existence in a different shade of mess.
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