Wednesday, September 18, 2013

I have a mind full of words
and none that are making sense. 

I want to write. 
I want to write paragraphs. 
I want to describe every feeling 
that's careening through
my skull
I have stress
but I can't pinpoint why

I am happy
which I can pinpoint to
 multiple sources

I am calm
at least on the outside

I am panicking
on the inside
about  things
I cannot change
or can only deal with 
as time goes on

I would classify myself
as a 
hot mess
straight up

I have thousands of words 
and no matching string
to have them strung together

I just don't really know where to go

This isn't a 
"pity me" 
sort of thing. 

This is a 

mymindissofreakingfullandidon'thaveanywhereconstructivetoputthethousandsofwordsandfeelingsandthoughtsandideassothaticansleeptonightorgetmyhomeworkdonelateroreasemyguiltforbeingsosnottyorforgettingtodothesimplethingsornotstudyingenoughformytestonmondayoreatingtoomuchicecreamtodayorthefactthatidontwanttodoanyofmyhomeworkbecauseijustdontwanttoandidontknowwhatiwanttodowithmylifeorwhereiwanttobeorwhereimgoingtogoorifanyoneisgoingtowanttogotherewithmeorifkarmasgoingtocomeandbitemeintheassforgettingtwoticketsinoneweekorthatthingsaregoingwellinmyhouseandwithroyandthatmaybejustmaybeillhavehitmycoupleofdaysofgoodluckthisyearandthenwhatinthehellamigoingtodowithmylife. 

I have a verbose vocabulary
at my disposal 
yet no way to use them
to ease my frantic mind

So instead
I've written jumbled spit up mess




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