It's crazy to think, that another semseter has come and gone. That the time has come for me to relive the past 16 weeks and settle down, back into my blogosphere, and back to keeping my head on straight.
It seems like just last yesterday, that I was writing my goodbye posts to Deja Vu, to the women I was leaving behind and the memories I had made.
Now, the door is shutting on Malibu 2012/2013. Which isn't exactly a bad thing, but a time to reflect. To look back on the shimmering water we've crossed, and to try and decipher the fog that surrounds us in the present.
This year isn't ending exactly as I planned. But I've found that this year I've become much more adept at dealing with change, and not losing my grounding. To understand that the world changing is a part of moving on. That I can't crumble everytime the ground shakes beneath my feet, but only brace myself to carry on as the rubble falls and different doorways are covered, while others are unearthed.
Everyone talks about how it's not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain. Which is true, in some regards. I prefer to think of it though not fearing what lies in the forest ahead, but only focusing on lighting your path as you walk your way. Which I guess is sort of the same, except when you're dancing, your stuck in the same place.
You can't just enjoy the rain stagnantly, you have to enjoy the rain as you move forward. You can't find the new places if you are stuck in the past.
Yes, you enjoyed the rain. Yes, you danced to your hearts content. But you didn't get anywhere. You probably would have been better off packing for your real adventure, rather then dicking around and showering in the rain. Which, by all means, I'm not discouraging you to do. But you can't just look for the fun.
The real world sucks. I've learned that the hard way. And as much fun as it would be to pretend that dancing in the rain can really wash away your sins, it doesn't. All it does is stifle the feelings and the hurt for awhile. You've got to have the fun as it comes around, but the same goes for the hard things. What goes around, comes around.
Everyone gets their fair share of karma, sadness, happiness, love. You've got to take the good with the bad, the happy with the sad, and realize it all balances out in the end.
Sucky? Yes. True? Even more so.
I guess that maybe this isn't a goodbye post, but maybe more of a realization post that I've grown in more ways then I can ever spend the next three hours writing about.
That without this year, and without these people, I'd have missed my path. I'd have been too afraid for the earthquake to happen, to realize that the world that I'm building around me, with great friendships, and great life experiences. So sometimes it quakes. And sometimes, friendships fail. But that doesn't mean the whole world has to crash with it. Just as some things can be repaired, others cannot. And you can't always fix everything. Sometimes, the best you can do is to help build new things, for your self and others, when the old places, and buildings must come down.
It's nature, to rebuild and to restart. Just because we are human does not mean that we are immune to that. The trick is, learning when to restart, and when to just rebuild.
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