I see you over there

As Jackie so blatantly put it, the shit's about to get crazy.

And I can't freaking wait. I have three girls already, whom I can already tell I have a connection with. I'm waiting on the other 49-some, and it's making me insane. Part of me wishes it wasn't coming so soon, but then again, it's all I can do to hold it in.

I feel ready,or as ready as I'll ever  be. I know that trusting myself is the first part of the equation and I just have to grasp it. I need to understand that I was chosen for a reason, and life lead me down this path. That I made the right choices to get me here and I can already feel it in my bones -- this is my place. This is where I need to be.

I have a strong support system, in my family, and my staff. Shit, more than I can even totally put into words in this small cramped space of black and white internet musing.

And I also know I have fantastic friends, who understand how much this means to me. Or at least the important ones do.

It's about to get crazy, but I'm tense and ready. It's like waiting for the starting gun on the lake, and I'm just waiting for it to let me dive in. To feel the cool water calming my nerve endings, and to feel the smooth rhythm of comfort flowing from my palms. To feel the pattern begin of breathing every three strokes, and pushing, pulling, grasping, tugging the water. To find the finish, and the feeling of triumph that I have succeeded. That drowning in the bottom of the lake is no longer a possibility, though at the deepest point, I thought the depths would swallow me down. But the perseverance has taken me to the edge of the sand, and the warmth of a towel and a long slow breath. The intake of oxygen the ehale of the feeling of failure. Because the only thing I Have found is myself, and the feeling of finding my fit in the ocean of the world.

Bring it on.