Never more to be alone

I've decided...I'm taking it back. I'm taking back my right to make my own choices, and my right to decide how my life is going to go. I'm taking  back what I used to have, the self confidence and the idea that I'm something worth while. I used to walk around like I owned the place, and you know what? I'm going to start again. Because god damn it, the dudes at Super One seemed to think I did, so why can't I think so too?

I'm done letting other people decide. It's my life too. Why do I need to wait around and let everyone figure out my life? Sometimes you just have to jump, headfirst. I haven't done that in awhile and I'm suffering for it. I've passed plenty of doors because I've been waiting for the one to unlock itself. But I can't do that forever. I can't wiggle it and pound on it to be let in because I can't break down steel. I can only tap gently and hope that maybe whoever or whatever behind it wants to let me in. I'm not going to sit back and lose the chance to make something out of my life.

I'm taking back this hallway, and these doors. I'm going to open the ones I want to and I'm going to pass by the ones I don't. I'm tired of waiting for people to unlock them for me. I have the keys to all the ones I want to because I work hard and make the choices that need to be made.

And as crappy as this one is, I'm making it. I'm taking back my keys and putting on my sweet kicks; kicking ass and taking names once again. I wrote a post awhile back, with my paper for EN 211 in it.

            "I still hated who I had become. I hated that the self confident, defiant girl I had been in high school had somehow disappeared, leaving behind someone unsure of the next step. I was afraid to make a wrong move and plunge down into the canyon of failure that I had been warned about multiple times, afraid of not being able to handle the real world."


I'm taking her back. I'm resurrecting what once was and putting her with what now is.

Because it's my life. And I'm making my decisions again, now and forever.


Sorry Dorothy, its a rant again. But I guess I needed it.