But I won't be the one to let you go

Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. -Ally Condie

It's amazing how fast time slips by, piece by piece, through the hourglass we call a lifespan.

I last blogged on the fourth, and now's it's 12 days later. How fast things, feelings, and places in a person's life can change in 12 days.

Ideas, hopes, and what you expect of the future can either engulf you in it's glory of being right, or it can drown you in the dark when things don't turn out as expected.

It's finding your foothold in the slope and grabbing hold as the avalanche buries you alive in the mountain side. It's holding out your hand and accepting the help to come back up from getting knocked on your ass. It's accepting that even as the the eclipse might happen, it will be light again on the other side.

There's always hope, and always room to grow. Things change for a reason, and that's all I need to remember.

Just because one door is shutting behind me, it's only to keep in all the wonderful memories that I've collected. To keep them safe, and to remind me that even though I was just as afraid of that section of my life, in the end you can't grow if you don't continue to move on.

My roots grow deeper, and keep me entangled with those that matter and have and will affect me for life, even if we grow apart in the future. That our lives will stay intertwined behind the closed door and remind me  of myself, and to not be afraid.

Growing up and apart only lets us have more room to grow more and to let others grow with us. No one can grow if we are suffocated.

I want to go back

I'm sitting with an empty glass and a broken heart,
Thinking to myself what have I done,
Cause as my future got bright we started losing light,
And I couldn't see that you were the one, 

I want to dance

To move, to feel free

To feel passion, and freedom

So can we push push push rewind,
Go go back in time,
When we were kids sneaking bottles of wine,
Take take take me back, I wanna go back,
Back to what we had! 

I don't want to go back, but forward

But I want to have the feelings come along

The chest throbbing bass that signifies

life

living

life worth living

Do you remember when we started this mess,
My heart was beating out of my chest!,
Remember when we stole your dad's car,
I never thought we'd take it that far,
Oh we where flying so high, yeah partners in crime,
So why'd we ever say good bye?,
Remember when we, when we, had it all
Do you remember when... 

Which is sometimes something I forget to pay attention to

That even the small things can hold this again

That not every house government meeting will be a success

But deep down, making that connection

Changing a life

Can feel just as powerful

Wish I was still the only one running cross your mind,
I guess I just want you to know
Oh from your ruby lips to your fingertips,
I can't believe I let you go, 

So can we push push push rewind,
Go go back in time,
When we were kids sneaking bottles of wine,
Take take take me back, I wanna go back,
Back to what we had! 

And as great as it would be 

to feel this rush

for a significant other

To feel the head rush of butterflies

From a Facebook, 

Phone Call

Text

Do you remember when we started this mess,
My heart was beating out of my chest!,
Remember when we stole your dad's car,
I never thought we'd take it that far,
Oh we were flying so high, yeah partners in crime,
So why'd we ever say good bye?,
Remember when we, when we, had it all
Do you remember when...

 I realize how much I have here

How much love I have for my family

and my friends

and my girls

That it doesn't matter as much 

I'm hanging by a thread,
I'm tearing at the seams,
Holding on to what we used to be! and I should let you go...
But I just won't give up up up up up up up!

Because when I found this job

I knew

That I had more then enough love

and skill for it

So when the right guy hops up

I'll know

Hopefully

Push push push rewind,
Go go back in time,
When we were kids sneaking bottles of wine,
Take take take me back, I wanna go back,
Back to what we had!

At the very least

I know I'm happy where I am

And in the end, 

I just want to be happy. 

And make my difference

And no matter what happens

I will make an even bigger difference

I am making a difference already

And 

Do you remember when we started this mess,
My heart was beating out of my chest (my heart was beating out of my
Chest! )
Remember when we stole your dad's car,
I never thought we'd take it that far,
And we were flying so high, yeah partners in crime,
So why'd we ever say good bye?,
Remember when we, when we, had it all!
Do you remember when?

I will only continue too