My Lame Existence: July 2012

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,

"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"

This. Right. Here.

I just feel like summer just isn't my season

This isn't supposed to be a rip off of

the words of Anna Nalick

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

However, my lack of interest

in the summer months

makes me feel like a fraud

a fake in the world of the college student

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable

It's not that I hate it

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

Far from it in fact

No one can find the rewind button, girl.

I love sitting in the sun, and feeling

the heat across my shoulders

So cradle your head in your hands

Spending time with my family

And breathe... just breathe,

And taking a moment for myself

Oh breathe, just breathe

To breathe.

And forget my anxiety ridden tendencies.

Summer gives me the opportunity to breathe

Whilst bringing about more reasons

To add to

my overwhelming thought process.

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

I look too far ahead

I find myself lost

and not in the moments I'm in

because

I'm too worried about what's around the riverbend

But maybe that's just because

I'm older now.

And no longer as carefree

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

I don't really want this whole blog to become

a mind numbing void

That no one reads

because I can't focus on anything else but my

small minded worries

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,

About my first world problems

You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out

And my 'life troubles', though at 20

And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again

I can't say I have enough

If you'd only try turning around.

To fill a small memoir yet.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

So I'm stuck.

Because right now, this.

That.

The summer.

Is consuming my mental abilities and

my want

to branch out and be strong minded

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now

So I guess that's it.

I can't just ignore the fact

I'm feeling a little lost.

But now it's out there.